So you’ve been dating for years, all your friends know about the relationship and your mom keeps asking you when you are moving in together. Only problem is, rude boy over here just cannot come to terms with the fact that you are most probably the best thing that ever happened to them. These slimeballs have the audacity to go away on family trips without you (especially holidays like Christmas), will go to weddings alone, make big life decisions without you, never include you emotionally, and if you ask them questions about your relationship, will without a doubt say “I’m not looking for a serious relationship”, or “I don’t believe in marriage” or “I don’t want kids” blah, blah, blah.
Relationships are not easy. This we all know, but keeping someone in your life who evidently will never acknowledge you, or share your dreams, no matter how many nights you spend at his place, or how many times he invites you to join the fam for a quick dinner when they are in town, truth is, it’s killing every beautiful thing about you. The biggest cunt move this person can ever make, despite admitting they only want you on their terms, is going that one step further with a specific relationship status online. One, that instead of just being void (which can still be mistaken for personal privacy) states SINGLE.
What a slap in your face, and if you don’t feel the burn now, you never will. The day will come when you start crying yourself to sleep, asking yourself what you are doing wrong. Truth is, you are not doing anything wrong. Your “partner” is the one with the issues, and you should under no circumstances allow yourself to fall into that trap. It’s a classic narcissist move to convince you that you will never be good enough. It will keep you in limbo for years. You will be left wondering why you are not good enough to be upgraded to actual girlfriend or boyfriend status, and the worst part is that these spineless dweebs can keep you hanging on for years.
But beware, when you finally build up the courage to walk away, they will make you feel guilty – because how dare you leave them!? Remember, you agreed to this shit when they said they did not want anything serious? They will never, and cannot emotionally admit that the reason you are leaving is because they made you feel worthless. Instead, they will convince themselves, friends and family that you hurt them. This type of relationship is just not worth it. Walk the fuck away, before it is too late. You can convince yourself that you are different, but you are not. It does not matter that you “get them” or whatever other bullshit you keep telling yourself – they will never change.
In an article on Psychology Today, MD David M Allen states that some commitment phobes may not truly be afraid of commitment per se. People who appear to fit this bill may in some cases be playing a dysfunctional family role”. They were exposed to this in their family environment and that is impossible to undo. You will also never meet the right person, because you are emotionally not available and too invested in a dead-end relationship. It’s time to move on and here is a great list of questions to ask yourself if you know deep down its time to find real love.
You can totally do this – dump that dweeb!
Cover by Me Elle You*